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Motivation: Home Edition

Overview

What is it about “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” that makes you want to get up and help someone and how do they manage to achieve so much in so little time.

Introduction

Have you ever watched “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”? They build a house in record time to help a family in trouble.

I used to work in the construction industry so I know how hard it is to achieve what they do. It’s not just down to the numbers of people who work on the project – although this will help. It’s down to the way they get motivated for a project.

4 Steps to Long Term Motivation

Overview

Getting motivated for something in the long term is one of the hardest things we ever have to do. Here I offer some guidelines that might just help.

Introduction

There are two types of motivation: internal and external. Most forms of motivation tend to focus on the external.

External motivation includes things like: money, fame, holidays, houses, lifestyles etc. These can all be powerful motivators but unfortunately they are often only good for short term projects. The prospect of acquiring something can really give you an impetuous to get started but then things start to go wrong and you don’t meet your first target and everyone else is doing better than you and soon you give up.

So then what can we do to stop this kind of boom or bust mentality and what can we do to help ourselves stay motivated on a long term project?

Body, Heart, Mind and Soul

Overview

In this post we explore a way of looking at your life that will help you to gain wholeness. Although based on ancient Judeo-Christian thinking it can also be found in ancient western philosophy.

How are we put together?

There is an approach to life that can help build happiness and success. It finds its roots in many of the major world religions and in ancient western thought and is also grounded in modern approaches to life management.

We are made up from four different aspects. These four combine to make the whole of who we are. Within life we should seek harmony within our self. Harmony is about achieving balance through control. When a choir is in harmony it is not because they all sing what they fancy but because they are controlled by the music (and usually the choir director). Self-discipline has always been an important part of success. Self-discipline is about control.

Now to most of us control might seem like a bit of a dirty word. It reminds us of dictatorships and nasty rules and regulations. If we had to come up with some words we associate with control I expect many of us would say stuff like: boredom, slavery, misery etc.

However think about athletes who reach the top of their game, think about business people who become very successful, think about pretty much anyone who has ever achieved anything, and you will discover that self-discipline and control played a vital part in that success. Far from being limiting and miserable self-control and discipline can lead to great happiness and success.

Now don’t get me wrong here. I don’t have a picture in my mind of a sergeant major barking orders at a brow beaten soldier. I mean self-discipline that is born out of knowing yourself very well and working with your self to achieve what you can. This is self-discipline not other-discipline.

Have you every tried to achieve anything and failed? Was it through lack of self freedom that you failed? Was it because you felt like you could keep going for ever but decided to give up anyway and so you did that you failed? Or was it through lack of self-discipline? Was it because you hit a bad patch and so because of the struggle you gave up?

Self-control and self-discipline are vital parts of success.

How to make a vision statement

Overview

Discover what a vision statement is and why it is important and then get some help on how to develop your own.

What is a vision statement?

A vision statement is a description of where you see your life in the future. It could be the near future or it could be a long time in the future. It should be a very lucid description so that the description will help you feel what that future will be like. It should be very positive and its language should make good use of the present tense so that the description sounds like it has already been achieved.

Why bother with a vision statement?

A vision statement serves several purposes:

It is a source of inspiration. By describing the situation in a tangible way it provides a source of encouragement when things get a little tough.

It is a source of motivation. It helps you remember why you are doing certain things and the kind of life that you are determined to live in the future.

It help you achieve. Your brain will start to develop plans for how it can achieve what you are describing. I know it sounds a little like mumbo-jumbo but the brain starts to take on the kind of life that is described to it. The more real you can make the description the more this will work.

It helps you get support. Write your vision in such a way that you are able to share it with others. When you show your vision statement to others they will start to think of ways that they can help you get what you want. The vast majority think of how they can help others and by sharing your vision with them you are opening up a whole new world of possibilities. This doesn’t mean you can sit back and let others do all the hard work for you but just that others will help you if you show them what you are trying to do.

What is your purpose?

Overview

Take some time to discover your purpose. Here I outline a method for working out it all. I see your purpose as the starting point of your future. You need to know where you are starting from before you can choose the path to your destination.

Why bother with a purpose statement?

Most of us meander through life hoping that somehow we will get lucky and things will work out. It’s a basic belief that the gambling industry – one of the biggest industries in the world – exploits for its own gain. Perhaps this will be the week that your lottery numbers will come up and life will improve for you. However there are a few who have grasped the simple truth that life is not about getting lucky breaks from nowhere but is about making your own lucky breaks.

Of course life is harder for some than for others but just because life is tough doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful – it might just take a little extra effort!

The place to start is with understanding yourself and what you are about. How can you ever make a decision, or know how to spend your valuable time if you don’t know what your priorities are and what talents you can use to achieve your goals?

A purpose statement is about taking some time to reflect on who you are. You examine your various qualities, what talents you might have and what things you value. At the end of the process you should have a clear idea of what you stand for. Although its possible to arrive at a similar statement to others what it means to you will be unique.

Then you should remind yourself regularly what you purpose statement is. It will help you prioritise your time and encourage you to employ your talents wisely.

How to set goals

Overview

Learning to set goals can change your life. There are simple techniques that can make all the difference to success. Here I outline the SMART system of goal setting and add a little extra of my own.

Introduction

Everyone sets goals whether they realise it or not. When you get up in the morning; how you are going to get promotion; your plan to lose some weight or get fit; preparing for your next holiday etc. All these are goals that have been set for a particular purpose. However we all know that just setting the goal is not enough and there is some work involved if it is to be completed.

The sad truth, also, is that few of us are successful at realising our goals. At the beginning of each year we make some plans for how we are going to improve things but by the end of the January we have all about given up – if we can keep going even for that long.

So is there anything that can help us? Yes – there is. We can learn from those who set goals and work to achieve them and we train ourselves to do the same as they do.

This guide is about helping you to understand how you can make goals that will encourage you and help you to succeed.

Growing older and wiser – are you serious?

Does being older mean that you are wiser? I don’t think so – read on to find out why.

There is an assumption in life that the older you get the wiser you will get. There is much evidence to support this – not least through personal experience. I now know, for instance, that you can’t assume girls will laugh at you just because you speak to them.

However let me ask you a simple question.

Who is the wiser? The person who knows little but applies what they know or the person who knows much but still does nothing.

I would suggest it is the former. Wisdom is in the application of knowledge and not in the knowledge itself.

Now I have four (youngish) children and I know that they don’t understand much about the world yet and yet what they have learned they put into operation (generally). They are pretty good at using the knowledge that they are gaining.

However I know an awful lot more than they do about life and the way it works. So why then do I still sometimes make mistakes? Why is it on some days I will get up and I just can’t be bothered to look at my goals? I teach other people, for goodness sake, to set goals and use them and yet some days even I can’t be bothered.

This extends beyond me and mere goal setting. What things do you do that is not wise? Do you ever ignore something that you know you should do something about? Do you ever say anything to anyone which you later regret? Do you ever eat something which you later wish you hadn’t?

Most of us by the time we reach our forties know how to be happy in life and yet why are so many of us miserable?

Never assume that somehow being older had made you wiser.

It seems to me that wisdom is often a choice – it’s something we do not something we are. We must choose to make a wise decision.

The wise thing to do, of course if to choose to be wise.

Spiritual Development

Spirituality is important for many reasons. Yet why do so many people assume that spirituality always develops for the better?

I have read many articles lately about the spiritual experience of various people. It usually goes something like this: I was brought up as a catholic/evangelical/methodist/baptist etc., I didn’t like it much and when I went to College I became an atheist/agnostic etc., then I met someone really nice who introduced me to some kind of nondescript faith (based on a corruption of something eastern or old) and now I know the truth and I’ve never been happier. There always seems to be some underlying assumptions: that spirituality always gets better (especially if you believe less), that truth is always found in making up your own religious beliefs, and happiness comes from not belonging to anything established.

Now it may just be that the people I have been reading about were just of a particular type of person but I suspect this way of thinking is pretty common.

I am a great defender of people thinking and believing what they want to but I need to challenge the main underlying assumption that things always get better the longer you develop them.

When I was younger I used to walk a lot. I walked just about everywhere. This activity coupled with a lack of money to spend on chocolate and crisps kept me pretty slim and healthy. Then I got some money and a car.

I discovered that travelling in a car was more enjoyable than walking (e.g. not getting wet or sweaty and it was much quicker).

The end result of all this progress was that I got fatter and less fit. Now I try hard to regain some of what I once had. My point here is that just because time has passed and I believed I was happier (I think mistakenly now) did not mean I had attained some higher level of being (or fitness). The truth is I was worse off.

Spirituality (like nearly everything) can be like this. Don’t assume that just because you are older and believe you are happier that somehow this means your former spirituality/faith was somehow weak and difficient.

Of course people discover new things that can make life more meaningful and if you are someone who has gone on a long journey to discover a new kind of faith I applaud your searching. But please be open to the possibility that perhaps – just perhaps  – those who continue to believe and follow a more established traditional kind of religion might just be right.

Perhaps the faith of your fathers and mothers was in fact worth having after all.

What changes people?

One of the hardest things to do is to change. We can become so used to our habits and ways of doing things that making a change can seem to be almost impossible.

I think there are several things that stand in the way of someone changing and here a just a couple of them:

1) Fear. We are afraid that if we change then we will have to give up some of the security that we have spent so much of our life developing. Security is a good thing but so often it limits what things we are willing to do. What is strange though is that often people want to change so they will have more security but the act of changing can make you feel insecure. Don’t ever let fear drive you. Take a stand against fear and discover how much you can change if you are willing to take the risk.

2) Not seeing the point. If you are going to change you need to get the point of changing. Too often our reason for changing is because everyone else thinks its a good idea. If you want to lost weight or perhaps give up smoking you need to get the point of why you are giving up. If you don’t get the point then no amount of effort will make the change. If you think something is a good idea but you are not sure what the point is then try writing down an arguement for why you should make the change. If your arguement is not convincing then try again. Keep up the arguement until you know why you are going to make the change.

3) Not desiring enough. Just seeing the point of changing won’t do you also need a strong desire to change. This can come through many different ways but without the motivation to change you won’t get started and getting started is one of the hardest parts. One way to address this problem is to build up in your mind a good picture of what things will be like if you manage to change. Bring some emotion into the picture and memorise it – when you feel like giving up let the picture into your mind again.

These are just a few of the reasons but they are big ones. If you want to make a change make sure you have got these sorted out.